Relaxing whilst doing Competition Law is not an Oxymoron

Chuck Norris Antitrust Facts

with 21 comments

  • If Chuck Norris had been Commissioner for competition in the 1980s’, Microsoft would have never achieved dominance
  • Chuck Norris can dismantle barriers to entry with a roundhouse kick
  • Areeda and Turner did not invent the price-cost test for predatory pricing cases, Chuck Norris told them to do so

If you think of more Chuck Norris Antitrust Facts, pls send them to us.

Written by Nicolas Petit

2 July 2012 at 9:13 pm

Posted in Jokes

21 Responses

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  1. If Chuck Norris had been in charge of EU competition law in the past, he would have introduced a very succesful self-incrimination programme that stipulates treble fines for breaches of the competition rules.


    2 July 2012 at 9:52 pm

  2. Chuck Norris once broke antitrust law….with his fists

    Alfonso Lamadrid

    2 July 2012 at 11:22 pm

  3. Actually, Chuck Norris can’t break laws….as they split out of fear when they see him

    Alfonso Lamadrid

    2 July 2012 at 11:25 pm

  4. Best Chuck Norris antitrust quote: ”My vision of tomorrow for Intel, here and now; obey the law“.
    Or was this Neelie Kroes???

    Alfonso Lamadrid

    2 July 2012 at 11:28 pm

  5. The only reason why MOFCOM is not part of the ICN is because the Chinese have not yet translated Chuck Norris’ off-hand 1984 remark: “Violence is my last option.”


    2 July 2012 at 11:38 pm

  6. Following yet another complaint, the Commission asked Google why Chuck Norris did not feature in search results.

    Google replied: You don’t find Chuck Norris; he finds you.

    Alfonso Lamadrid

    2 July 2012 at 11:41 pm

  7. Chuck Norris can abuse a dominant position without even having one. 😉


    2 July 2012 at 11:47 pm

  8. (Ahem, let’s try one)

    Chuck Norris doesn’t break Commission seals, Commission seals remove themselves when Chuck Norris tells them to do so.


    3 July 2012 at 1:06 am

  9. Breaking news : “Chuck Norris appointed Head of the Unit in charge of beatdown and roundhouse kicks. Stay tuned for updates on Chuck Norris’ first steps in DG Comp”.

    Chuck Norris can divest assets with a side kick.

    Chuck Norris can stop a merger with a finger.

    Should Chuck Norris be director of DG Comp, no leniency would be granted, because Chuck Norris shows no mercy.


    3 July 2012 at 1:36 am

  10. All purchases of shares made by Chuck Norris are notifiable to the Commission as they always result in a change of control.


    3 July 2012 at 8:43 am

  11. Chuck Norris’ supermarket visits provide a textbook example of buyer power.

    Ajal Notowicz

    3 July 2012 at 1:51 pm

  12. Chuck Norris and private enforcement is a redundancy


    3 July 2012 at 2:20 pm

  13. When Chuck Norris plays monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

    Alfonso Lamadrid

    3 July 2012 at 3:52 pm

    • If Chuck Norris was subject of an antitrust investigation, he would not settle with the Commission. The Commission would settle with him, and beg for mercy…

      Nicolas Petit

      3 July 2012 at 4:16 pm

  14. If Chuck Norris was in a cartel, the Commission would beg him for leniency.


    6 July 2012 at 1:22 am

  15. If Chuck Norris was in charge of the Antitrust regulation, all cases would be ruled in a BBQ Bar, Nacogdoches, TX
    Chuck: “You want a win-win position? Haha!”


    6 July 2012 at 11:13 am

  16. What’s the difference between Chuck Norris and the Commission? None, they both prosecute and adjudicate the villains, normally showing little mercy for them. And, they would eventually seek to obtain compensation from them, if they are still around and not gone bankrupt!


    7 July 2012 at 10:50 am

  17. In a revolving-door scenario, if Google had retained Chuck Norris to deal with the Commission, Mr. Almunia would have stated: “On a second thought, we see no real problems so far. We took issues because our products (read decisions) did not show up among the first ten results in Google’s search engine. But our Chief Economist told us it was our fault. We are going to improve the product, so that our customers are satisfied. Our competitors (read NCAs) are making our life hard these days… But hei! Summertime is at the door!”

    Enjoy your summer guys (this wish is mine, not Almunia’s)


    7 July 2012 at 11:01 am

  18. Chuck Norris has been working for the Higher Regional Court of Düsseldorf. That’s why the Court can delinate the relevant geographic market BEFORE delineate the relevant product market.


    14 August 2012 at 2:24 pm

  19. Hi,

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    We will link to you from our Fashion and Women authority site –, from its homepage’s sidebar. In return you will agree to do the same to link back to one of our client site, from your’s homepage too (sidebar, footer, or anywhere on your homepage), with our brand name Harajuku Fever.

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    Charles V.

    18 March 2019 at 6:30 am

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